I'm not blogging..

Weird that. When doing one thing can actually open your eyes for another..

I'm not writing for you.

Since stopped blogging in February I'm no longer always with my iphone camera in my right hand to capture any fun moment happing in a hurry to share it with you. I'm not worried or feeling a bit hurried when haven't updated my blog for a few days. I'm not checking my phone so often, even I think it's too much.

I'm no longer absent in my own life.

But being present also let me understand that I'm not blogging - for you. I'm not addicted to my number of readers, your comments or support. Although I'm g r a t e f u l - but not in desperate need there of. YOU make my heart happy - but could I manage without?? Yup. I made it. I realized why. I gave myself time to think, breath, smell, feel, love and live. And you know what? I'm not writing for you. I'm channeling. For some time this winter I felt a building sense of having to have "something interesting" to put on the blog - for YOU. I didn't. I started to feel disrespectful to you all for not giving my blog - and YOU - as much attention and time as YOU deserved. So I stopped. I felt a bit like a failure. For not being able to blog as much as I thought I "had to". But I was wrong. That's not how things work. There are no rules.

I keep coming back to the cover of my 2013-calender: "I do as I wish" it says on the cover. Did I?

I have a basal need to express myself. Some things out loud (mostly laughs and cheeky comments ;)), some things by moving and dancing, and some things by hand - written or drawn. (I'm just as an unprofessional artists as I am writer should be said, NOT trying to claim any talent there of.) And since stopped blogging I realized, I missed it. Not the stress, not the picture chasing, not the constant cyber attention. The writing. I missed the writing. And of course YOU - but in a healthier way.

And so - no. I will not go back to my old habits. I will never again be absent in my own life. But will I now and then use this media to pour out my heart? Will I use this blog to let others see and know sides of me that I rarely speak or show? Will I here take the absolute right to post as often - or seldom - as I like? Well, yes. :)

So, there might be stuff flooding into this blog from time to time - there might not. There might be food for thought - or completely shallow. I might reveal stuff that provokes you - or makes you happy. Makes you laugh or makes you cry. I'm not writing for you. But if you want to share my thoughts and join me as I am - WELCOME.

My blog. My choice. My life.

#happyfromtheheart #stayingpresent

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